Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Reframing

Our firstborn son just left to go blueberry picking with our landlords and #2 is sitting contentedly nearby, and will soon be napping, and I find myself facing the age-old mystery of motherhood: what to do next??!!

And so I blog.

Meanwhile, the lunch dishes still sit on the table, and the laundry piles mock me, and the fall decorations call out to me to pull them from their boxes, and the list goes on...

And yet I blog.

I guess it's for the same reason that we take vacations. Unnecessary? Yes. Useless? No.

I guess I am considering this more of a therapy session than a blog. I have been pondering the priorities of motherhood the past couple days and realizing that newborns completely reshape them when they arrive.

It's interesting how it all works. I lived in the nesting stage for months while I was pregnant. I constantly felt the urge to clean and organize and plan (and even cook occasionally)--and spent a good part of my time doing so.

Then it all changed in an instant. This little life entered my world and all such priorities escaped out the window. I am lucky if I find time to shower in the day--cleaning is waaaaay down on the list. I remember coming to the realization when Griffin was first born that I had become a speed eater. I considered eating a waste of precious time and so gobbled my food down as quickly as possible so as to move on to actually accomplish something of value.

By nature, I am task-oriented. I am most content when I have a well-checked off list at the end of the day. But yesterday, I came to the realization that this 'need to accomplish' is not an option at this time in my life. As a mom of two boys, each with their own needs, my to-do list doesn't even get written.

So, I am faced with two options:
1) Feel sorry for myself and long for the day when things return to 'normal' (as I did for most of the day yesterday).
2) Find a way to reframe my priorities during this season of life.

I'm opting for number 2.

I'm realizing that this stage in life is a lot more about being than doing. I spend about 6-7 hours of my day feeding, burping, and changing the baby. I can mourn my time lost during this time or recognize that simply being with my son is a gift--for me and for him.

I also could spend the rest of my day trying to make up for time lost by catching up on those check marks. Or I could

i have to laugh. i got distracted from completing this yesterday and i have no idea what i was going to say next. i think that may be exactly what i was trying to say. i may or may not complete anything--and that's ok.

now, if you will excuse me...i'm going to put a movie on while my boys nap. and i may or may not complete it before i fall sound asleep.


4 comments:

Beckie Farrant, said...

You keep the word verification on just to annoy me dontcha. grrrrrrr! Anywho I am soooo not ready for that yet. I am ready for the nesting part. I would really like the baseboards of my house cleaned. It is coming soon enough for me

Jeremy said...

This sounds so much like my wife. She has had to work through the feeling of family and house hold responsibilities getting in the way of what she want to get done. Instead she has come to realize that the time she invests in her family is her highest and Divine calling. God bless you and your family as you invest yourself in them.

livingpalm said...

i hear you sista!!
(by the way, recording your thoughts and feelings in a blog has to be right up there on the priority list, dontcha think?!? you're preserving history!)

frontrowseat said...

I knew someone once who made a ta-da list at the end of the day. At the time I thought the title was completely corny (actually, I still do!), but the concept has something to it. How much more satisfying -- and motivating -- to see a list of all that you accomplished at the end of the day (and yes, you can include blogging, showering, breast feeding and saving your child's eyeball from being poked out by his loving big brother) rather than a to-do list with lots of unchecked items.