Friday, January 30, 2009

25 Things About Me

Sorry, but I am totally cheating with this post. I just did one of those '25 Things About Me' lists on facebook that everybody is doing. In an effort to multi-task, I thought I would just share the list with you as well.

For those of you who already saw this on facebook--sorry. I changed a couple of them to keep things interesting.

Here goes:

1) If I could be anything when I grow up, I would have a hard time choosing between a television talk show host and a star on a sit-com (preferably 'Everybody Loves Raymond').

2) I have been to South Korea, North Korea, Portugal, Spain, France, Switzerland, Hawaii (that's a foreign country in my eyes!), Australia, Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, Singapore, St. Thomas, St. Maarten, the Bahamas, and Mexico and Canada, of course. My favorite was Australia. I would still like to go to Africa one day.

3) I eat Frosted Mini Wheats just about every morning.

4) If I could get away with it, I would also serve Frosted Mini Wheats for dinner. I am not a fan of cooking.

5) My husband and I dated for four months and were engaged for four months. That would be 8 months total.

6) One of the qualities I admire the most is the ability to communicate well while thinking on one's feet. I would love to be able to do that better.

7) Two of my goals in life are to go on another cruise and to learn how to raise one eyebrow.

8) The highest compliment that you can pay me is to tell me that I am funny.

9) I love coffee. Particularly Dunkin Donuts French Vanilla coffee. With Cream and Sugar. Please.

10) I love that my husband watches American Idol and Dr. Phil with me.

11) I am a dreamer, by nature. My constant dreaming often gets in the way of my hearing. I wish it were not so.

12) I just realized that I misspelled the word 'disciplined' in my facebook post. This is one of my greatest fears. (see #16)

13) I love that both of my boys have blue eyes although no one in my immediate family does. Thank you, Grandpa Hill and the Ehret family.

14) I have run a half-marathon. I hope to do so again and finish with a better time. In the meantime, I plan on training for a 10-miler in the spring. I think.

15) I am constantly amazed as I watch my husband be a dad. He is one of the most fun, crazy, and loving dads I have ever met.

16) I was in the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee in Washington, DC in 1990.

17) I go back and forth between wishing I was more simple and wishing I was more complex.

18) I am fascinated by people and learning what makes them tick.

19) Becoming a mom has taught me to work hard to live in the moment.

20) I learn best by processing my thoughts with someone. I am grateful for the many people who have helped me work through specific struggles and discoveries.

21) I think two of the best sounds in the world are the giggles of my two boys.

22) I hate shopping, but cvs, walgreens, and rite aid have changed my life.

23) I enjoy being in the spotlight in a controlled setting, which is evidenced by my last three jobs (teacher, abstinence education presenter, and making it count speaker).

24) I like to think that I can dance. I think I learned my skills from my dad.

25) I am most happy when I am with my family.

26) BONUS: I wrote most of this in my head while up in the night with my 5 month old son.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

these are a few of my favorite things

i've been thinking about 2008 and it always amazes me all that takes place in one year. just thought i would share a few of my favorite things from this past year:


dorchester park, whitney point, ny


Goodbye, Novelty




30 hour famine
you helped me raise over $700!


the hill family stay-cation



disney world--8 months pregnant!


potty training!


never mind wes's look of confusion in the background.
i absolutely love how this picture capture's griffin's personality.


august 29, 12:51 am

**Sidenote: Thank you, thank you, thank you for your words of encouragement, wisdom, and empathy on my last post. I was hesitant to share my vulnerable state in this forum, but I am so grateful I did. There were still tears over this past week (occasionally they were Lincoln's), but they were mixed with a new perspective on my circumstances that was refreshing and helped me keep going. Oh...and I should add that Lincoln is sleeping much better and even slept through the night a couple nights ago! Hope is a beautiful thing. =)

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


I was all set to write a happy little post about my favorite memories of 2008, but it's just not working for me.

In an effort to not be superficial, I've decided to share where I'm at today. I so don't want this to sound like a pity party--more like a desperate attempt to gain some perspective.

Long story short. I have deemed the past week and a half 'Project Sleep Through the Night'. As a result of this attempt, Lincoln has gone from being a pretty bad sleeper to a worse sleeper. Much worse.

I knew going into this that it would not be easy. Griffin was not a great sleeper either and I had to work hard to help him learn to sleep through the night as well. But I was not prepared for Lincoln to actually digress in his sleeping habits.

I was also not prepared for the nerve that this would strike with me. I am realizing that this is about so much more than getting a few more hours sleep at night. I think I am not alone when I say that I feel as though a baby's sleeping habits are often used as a measuring stick of success for mothers of newborns. I try not to feel irritated when a gleaming mother reports that her child is now sleeping 12 hours at night. But I do. It's not that I dislike her. It's that I really want to be her. And I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I also struggle with the reality that I know so many mothers who have children who slept through the night at a very young age. I picture these moms waking after a full night's sleep to the sound of their cooing baby in the next room. Meanwhile, I pull the covers over my head and mutter curses under my breath at the sound of my child awakening yet again.

So, there you have it. I hate the fact that my child is keeping me up at night. I hate that sleep deprivation affects so many other areas of my life, making me feel like I can't be fully present in so many ways.

But so much more than that, I hate how big I have made the 'sleeping through the night' milestone. I have found myself struggling to drink in the moment with Lincoln. I have felt myself holding my breath until that magical moment when I awaken after a full night's sleep and all is well with the world. I crave the day when I can be the mom with the bragging rights. I have been angry that it appears that I am the only mom who can't figure out the 'secret code' to sleep-filled nights.

And so, I write this to remind myself that this beautiful baby boy who laughs and coos at me all day long (and sometimes in the middle of the night too) will never be four and a half months old again. I write this to remind myself that my perspective needs some adjustment. I write this to remind myself that I am not as alone as I feel.

I find myself struggling with even posting this because I so do not want to rely on my blog as a form of pseudo-community. However, I also know that most of you who read this have 'been there' at some point or other and I'm guessing you could help with my perspective as well.


Thursday, January 1, 2009

Post of Love for Megan

As promised, I am dedicating this entire post to my cousin Megan.

Megan is my childhood best friend. Most of my favorite childhood memories contain her in some way.
At our Uncle Clayton's cottage

This past week, I had the joy of visiting Megan in her beautiful home in Pennsylvania. How odd to find ourselves in the role of mom to kids that are the age we were when we first began to play together.

Visiting Meg at her home

As I visited her gorgeous home that she and her husband have worked hard to create, I was also struck by how much hasn't changed about my lifelong friend. Megan has always been fun and energetic and has more organizational skills in her little pinky than I have in every ounce of my body. I am often amazed at how everything she does seems to be done with excellence.

When we were young, even our play was done in a high quality fashion. Megan would spend hours preparing the books and materials that we would need to play library like it was the real deal. She and her family created the most amazing play kitchen nestled in the woods next to their house. And you've never gone sledding if you haven't taken a ride down her sledding hill.

I love the memories that we share from our childhood. But I am also grateful that in spite of the twists and turns our lives have taken, we always seem to pick up easily where we left off. Megan lovingly planned beautiful showers for both my wedding and the birth of Griffin. She agreed to be in my wedding, even though she was 8 months pregnant. And now, she's going to run a 10 mile race with me in May. Right, Meg?

Dancing at my wedding (with her 8 month pregnant belly between us)

And so, thank you, Meg. Not only for helping me with my Christmas list, but for your friendship that has lasted a lifetime. I miss our days of the secret society of MEKK and writing long letters to each other and playing softball at the civic association and making 'old movies' in your camper. But just because we no longer 'play' house, doesn't mean we can't still have fun, right?

Here's to lots more memories--wanna go sledding?