frogs and snails and puppy dog's tails...

I absolutely adore having boys. I really can't picture it any other way.

Griffin is a true Daddy's boy and if there is ever an option between doing something with Daddy or with Mommy, Daddy wins out every time. Usually this does not bother me because I get large doses of Griffin-time all day long.

But lately, I've tried to picture what my relationship with my boys will look like in the future. I've found myself wondering if a boy's need for his mommy just starts phasing out at some point. And when does that process begin? To be honest, I'm not sure I like the thought of the switchover from Mommy to just "Mom". I'm not even sure I know how to be just "Mom".

Then this took place:

Yesterday, Griffin and I were having a discussion over lunch about who is in charge. He's pretty sure that he is. I assured him that he is not and will not be until he's much older like Mommy and Daddy.

"Are you older?" he asked. "Does that mean you are going to die?"

What?! I thought.

"Oh, honey....not for a long, long, long, long time. You don't need to worry about that, ok?" Then returned to my sandwich thinking that the discussion was over.

It was then that I noticed the quivering lip.

"Griffin, what's wrong?"

"I don't want you to die! Who's going to be my mommy?" And then tears.

Followed by reassuring hugs and a rephrasing of what a long, long, long, long time means (I had forgotten that in his eyes, that's how long he has to stay in his bed during rest time.) And just as quickly, the tears were wiped away and it was back to making roaring sounds and playing games with his lunch.

And that was it. It was all that I needed. Just when I thought I was being phased out, a brief, open window to the reality in my little boy's heart will fuel this mommy's heart for a long, long, long, long time.